Cheers and mock: Wednesday

The New York Post
His attorney general
Idiot "Kraken" lawyer
The electoral college
His crooked daughter
His foreign minister
He lost the 59 lawsuits
His eldest son, whipped
His "big one!" Texas litigation debacle
Its pathetic 46.9% overall referendum
His easy-to-guess Twitter password

His status among Americans as a "failed president"

Good release, Bucky. Thanks for nothing. See you in court.

And now our feature presentation …

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Cheers and ridicule for Wednesday December 30th 2020

Note: C&J will be posting as usual tomorrow morning before heading out to endure scorn and ridicule for wearing a brown suit with no flag pin on New Years Eve. No C&J Friday as we spend the day in the basement sobbing over the cruelty of humanity. But we'll return Monday morning with both eyes shining and bushy tails thanks to my success in finally drinking the right serum that turns me into a human-squirrel hybrid. If you are not here tomorrow, we wish you a safe and happy New Years holiday.
– Manager, C&J Party Hats Division

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By the numbers:

Bideninauguration.jpg Reason will return in 3 weeks !!!

Weeks to Inauguration Day: 3

Percentage probability that Joe Biden will use the Defense Production Act to boost Covid vaccine production: 100%

Increase in applications for medical schools in the past year: 18%

According to Moody's Analytics, economic activity returns for every dollar spent on grocery stamps versus $ 1.36 for state aid to state governments and 30 cents for lowering corporate tax rates: $ 1.73

Percent of American adults surveyed by Gallup who said in 2006 and 2020 that marriage is very important for couples who have children together to be married: 49%, 29%

Overall percentage decrease in crime in Maine Last year the eighth decline in a row, despite a 3% increase in violent crime: 6%

Years Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians performed Auld Lang Syne on New Year's Eve: 1939-1977

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middle of the week Rapture index:: 183 (including 5 weapon proliferation and 1 perfectly legitimate prophetess Who will tell you how to prepare for the end times if you give their money?). Soul Lotion Factor 24 lotion is recommended if you are going for a walk among pagans today.

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Puppy picture of the day: Oh fer …

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CHEERS to democracy in action. Silly me. I have this radical little democratic notion that anyone who can vote should vote in elections, and whoever gets the most votes regardless of party wins. And although not everyone is expected to cast a vote GeorgiaThe two runoff elections to the US Senate, which end on January 5, They are still flocking to the elections and that's pretty cool:

Georgians have already broken the state's voter turnout record In the double Senate runoff elections that will rule over control of the U.S. Senate, new numbers on Tuesday show a mark hit about a week before the election day.

And they break records.

More than 2.3 million voters have cast their votesAccording to the office of the Georgian Foreign Minister, more than 800,000 votes are absent by mail and 1.5 million early in person. The previous voter turnout record was set in 2008 when Georgians cast a total of 2.137 million ballots in the entire election.

More than 78,000 Georgians who did not vote in the general election have already voted in the runoff campaign. This emerges from an analysis of the early voting data by the democratic political data firm TargetSmart. Tom Bonier, CEO of TargetSmart, said Monday that the majority of those voters are color voters, with African Americans having a large proportion.

Easy to see why: When Democrats Jon Ossoff and Rev. Raphael Warnock defeat calcified business criminal David Perdue and wacky Q-Anon conspirator Kelly Loeffler, Team D will take the racist Republicans out of control of the Senate. If not, there will be another four years of government stagnation, minority electoral repression and no peaches left for anyone. Choose wisely Georgia.

JEERS to good parents / bad parents. In short, here is what happened in the last 48 hours:

House spokeswoman Nancy Pelosi: Everyone looks under your seats. YOU will receive $ 2,000 in pandemic aid and YOU will receive $ 2,000 in pandemic aid and YOU will receive $ 2,000 in pandemic aid and YOU will receive $ 2,000 in pandemic aid and YOU will ALL receive $ 2,000 in pandemic aid !!!

The American people in desperate need of $ 2,000 pandemic aid: Hooray! Thank you for providing our tax money for us in this time of crisis!

Pelosi: … But only if Miser Mitch says in the Senate it's okay.

The American people: Oh damn.

And that's what we get. A dung bread. Give the ketchup, please. The whole jar.

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CHEERS at great moments in chemistry. 119 years ago this weekin 1911, Marie Curie received her second Nobel Prize for their work on radioactive elements:

After Marie and Pierre Curie discovered the radioactive elements polonium and radium, Marie continued to study their properties. In 1910 it successfully produced radium as a pure metal, which proved the existence of the new element beyond any doubt. She also documented the properties of the radioactive elements and their compounds.

marie-curie_toned_1_.jpg "src =" "title =" marie-curie_toned_1_.jpg“Would you like a cup of polonium tea with your radium biscuits? I brewed it fresh. "

Radioactive compounds have become important in both scientific experiments and medicine as sources of radiation, where they are used to treat tumors.

The Nobel Committee honored Marie "in recognition of her serviceIce for the advancement of chemistry through the discovery of the elements radium and polonium, through the isolation of radium and the study of the nature and compounds of this remarkable element. " You could say it has received a glowing rating.

P.S. This week our idiot president fired some photoshopped tweets make it look like he won the Nobel Peace Prize. Bad move. You know what the Nobel Peace Prize Committee does to people who abuse their pictures? The answer can be found under "Goodfellas".

CHEERS a cool place to hang out when you are away. It turns out that it is James Doohan, the actor who played one of the most adorable science fiction characters of all time rest in peace under the stars:

The late Doohan, who portrayed chief engineer Montgomery "Scotty" Scott in the original television series "Star Trek", had his ashes smuggled aboard the International Space Station, where they are now appropriately floating in space.

scottydoohan.jpg "src =" "title =" scottydoohan.jpgI'm disappointed that they didn't just beam it up.

"I've been keeping a secret for over 12 years," one of the Star Trek actor's sons Chris Doohan wrote on Twitter, adding a link to a December 25th article in the Times of London revealing the secret . The Starship Enterprise engineer has traveled nearly 1.7 billion miles in space and orbited Earth more than 70,000 times after his ashes were secretly hidden on the International Space Station.

Richard Garriott, an entrepreneur and one of the first private individuals in space, said he smuggled James Doohan's ashes onto the ISS in 2008 during a 12-day mission as a private astronaut in a plot invented by Chris Doohan.

Space is of course described in Star Trek as "the final frontier". It's also cold, chaotic, bleak, and unforgiving. What I think explains why Republicans are trying to recruit it to run for office.

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Ten years ago in C&J: December 30, 2010

JEERS the joint stink. Meanwhile, caused a bad odor at the United Nations an evacuation. They discovered that the bitter nutty smell was a problem related to the sewer system, but only after they first swept the area to make sure John Bolton hadn't wandered in.

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And another one…

CHEERS into the circle of C&J winners. Since 2008, our poll asked the same question on Friday night: "Who won the week?" And every Friday since 2008, you've carefully chosen from a group of candidates who, despite all odds, have made the world a better place. I thought it would be more difficult to find candidates for election during the Trump years, but in fact there has been no shortage of heroes and sheroes, most of whom are posh pushing back against fascism the Republican Party has tried to impose on the rest from us. This week we published the results of our WWTW polls for 2020 and today we present the winners from July to September. As expected, medical workers and first responders dominated the year. In these cases, we will line up the runner-up to remember other events – like the elections – that were also in the spotlight. The envelopes please:

3rd of July First responders and medical personnel. Runner up: The New York Times for reporting Trump's abandonment of Russia's program to pay Taliban bounties for killing US. troops

10th of July First responders and medical personnel. Runner up: Our Republic, as the Supreme Court ruled that the President is not a King, and gives the go-ahead for the Manhattan D.A. Take possession of Trump's tax returns.

17th July First responders and medical personnel. Runner up: Joe Biden: Great polls, Boffo ratings for his $ 2 trillion climate plan, and Trump firing his unfortunate campaign manager and spending lots of money in states that should be safe

24th July First responders and medical personnel. Runner up: Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez for her 10 minute response to Rep. Ted Yoho's non-apologetic apology after calling her a "Fucking B * Tch" in the Capitol

July 31 First responders and medical personnel. Runner up: The resistance when Trump's stormtroopers eventually break and depart under pressure from local, state and federal Democratic officials Portland and Seattle

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Mini Nerf BaseballAll of our winners get to share this Nerf baseball. (Hey, we're on a budget.)

August 7th Medical staff and scientists. Runner up: New York attorney general Letitia James, who filed a lawsuit to disband the NRA after decades of its leaders' donations from members for hedonistic pleasures

August 14th Senator Kamala Harris, the first African American and Asian American woman ever to be selected to be a member of a major party presidential ticket

August 21 The stars of the Democratic Convention, including Joe, Barack, Michelle, the new generation of resistance leaders and the first black woman on a major party card vice-president, Sen. Kamala Harris

August 28th The professional athletes and coaches, particularly those in the NBA and WNBA, boycotted the games and spoke out in response to the shooting of Jacob Blake Kenosha, Wisconsin

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September 4th Jeffrey Goldberg of the Atlantic, who broke the story of President Trump's open denigration ("loser", "sucker") of American soldiers who were wounded or killed in action

September 11 Audio tape of how Bob Woodward's interviews with the President show he knew how contagious and deadly Covid-19 was in February but publicly lied that it was "a joke" that "would go away very quickly".

September 18 Federal Judge Stanley Bastian for his statewide order blocking "politically motivated" changes to the Trump-mandated postal service that slowed mail delivery across the country

25th of September The legacy of the Supreme Court Justice and the "Super Diva" Ruth Bader Ginsburg. In order to achieve its maximum potential for the good of humanity, The Notorious RBG threw the ball out of the park and it won't fall anytime soon.

Saaaaa sounds.

Have a nice day. The ground is open … What are you cheering and mocking about today?

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Today's shameless C&J testimonial

House supports an increase in Cheers and Jeers' kiddie pool, which massages stimulus jets to 2,000

– NBC news

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