Cheers and mock: Wednesday

"To me, the most important part of winning is joy. You can win without joy, but joyless winning is like eating in a four-star restaurant when you are not hungry. Joy is a stream of chlorophyll energy in your body or sunlight that fills you and naturally makes you do your best. "
– Bill Russell

Screen_Shot_2016-02-20_at_4.28.06_PM.png "I don't have a bad temper, I just have a quick reaction to bullshit."
-Elizabeth Taylor

"The legitimate aim of the government is to do everything for a community of people that they have to do but cannot do so well for themselves in their separate and individual capacities."
– President Lincoln

"A nation's life is safe only when the nation is honest, honest and virtuous.""
– Frederick Douglass

"Seize the moment. Remember all the women on the Titanic waving from the dessert cart."
– Erma Bombeck

"Guys, is this opening speech going too long? No? Are you sure? We're cool? Great. Like I said …"
– President William Henry Harrison

And the classic:

"You don't need gun control. Do you know what you need? We need something Bullet Control. That's right – I think all bullets should cost five thousand dollars. Five thousand dollars a bullet. You know why? Because when a bullet costs five thousand dollars, there are no more innocent bystanders. "
– Chris Rock

As you celebrate another year around the sun this month, happy birthday … and lots of blessings on your camels. And now our feature presentation …

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Cheers and ridicule for Wednesday 17th February 2021

Note: In perhaps the most notable metaphor of 2021, Trump's Atlantic City Casino will implode at 9 a.m. You can see it here. I know that I will.

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By the numbers:

CherryPieDay.jpg 3 days!!!

Days until Cherry Pie Day: 3

Number of Congress seats that Arizona, Colorado, Montana, North Carolina, and Oregon are expected to increase again due to the 2020 census: 1

Number of Senator-Represented Americans Who Voted to Condemn the 45th President for Incitement to Insurrection: 202 million

Number of senators who voted for the acquittal: 125 million

Patients hospitalized with the flu since October, compared to 400,000 last season: 165

Typical White House working hours for President Biden: 9 am-7pm

Number of Presidents who have worked for the U.S. Postal Service: 2 (McKinley, Lincoln)

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middle of the week Rapture index:: 187 (including 3 tribulation stamps and 1 year bad calls from right Christian prophets). Soul Lotion Factor 8 lotion is recommended if you are going for a walk among pagans today.

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Puppy picture of the day: There is snow time like the present …

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CHEERS to meteorological considerations. As early as 1998 Maine was walled in with a huge ice storm; It took years to recover from it and you can still see "ampu trees" bearing the scars today. Yesterday we were reminded when we were hit by a mild version that luckily melted pretty quickly. In this way we can sympathize with the people in the south who have taken the brunt of nature's wrath once in a generation with a visit from Mr. Freeze. But Texas Utilities, you have to stick a crowbar in all of your wallets and bring your shit together:

The equipment literally froze in the single digits and stopped working.

As the reserves diminished, ERCOT asked the transmission system operators to shut down large industrial users who had previously agreed to be closed. However, the situation quickly deteriorated and required alternating failures that have lasted for hours for many Texans.

Texas, Sunday.

Electric companies haven't properly winterized their equipment, said Dr. David Tuttle on the latest episode of Y & # 39; all-itics' political podcast. Tuttle is a research fellow at the university's Energy Institute from Texas at the Austin. "There are things that can be done, but it will cost some money," he added. "About every decade we have these long periods. And then you know that weathering is supposed to happen, and then not because it costs money."

It's bad enough that utilities failed their customers and placed millions of citizens in potentially life-threatening situations. But worse now Texas Republicans I can't stand on the sidelines and giggle at the arch rival's unhappiness CaliforniaUtilities that cause forest fires. Congratulations – you just plunged your foot.

CHEERS to make the world safe again for Rugrats. Are our children learning? You are now thanks overdue CDC guidelines for the opening of schools that both the Biden administration and the teachers' unions (which appropriately welcome the exclusion of the previous administration) have agreed:

"Today the CDC answered the pandemic fear with facts and evidence," Randi Weingarten, president of the American Federation of Teachers, said in a statement. “For the first time since this pandemic began, we have a strict roadmap based on scientific evidence, that our members can fight for a safe reopening. " (…)

Teacher-Nostalgia-Paste.jpg "src =" "title =" Teacher-Nostalgia-Paste.jpgWash those dirty hands before you eat this delicious paste.

""Of course, this set of safeguards should have been implemented ten months ago, ”said Weingarten, adding that AFT published similar recommendations in April to those in the CDC plan. "Instead, the previous government got involved in the facts, creating mass chaos and confusion."

Becky Pringle, president of the National Education Association, the country's largest teachers' union, said the roadmap was "a good first step."

The plan includes guidelines for hand washing, social distancing, masking, and vaccinations. Also: all purple noodles must be administered using extension clamps, and all vertebrae are only to be administered in toilets with automatic flushes.

CHEERS for today's edition of "Me, That & # 39; s Who !!!" In his coverage of President Biden's plans to promote economic recovery and job creation CNBC quotes this questioning prodigy Who makes big money for their precision analysis:

"It is noteworthy that (President Biden), like President Obama, is facing an historic economic downturn," said Mark Hamrick, senior economic analyst at Bankrate.

"Who could have imagined that this would have been the case over a year ago?"

This was today's edition of "Me, That & # 39; s Who !!!"

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JEERS to early check-out. Sad news today from the world of hoteliers. Arne Sorenson, CEO of Marriott died. As with Alex Trebek and Congressman John Lewis, it was pancreatic cancer. He was only 62 years old. He is buried with a mint on his pillow. One side of his tombstone reads "Do Not Disturb" and the other side reads "Housekeeping Please".

CHEERS to legal libations. On that day in 1933, the U.S. Senate passed the Blaine Act, which effectively ended the ban. Who Says Christmas Comes in December?

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Ten years ago in C&J: February 17, 2011

Oh my God! freezes to hell and pigs fly! One bank – JPMorgan Chase – has done what no other megabank has ever done in the history of the universe, with the only exception that it did once in Jupiter's Olthblark era: them said you are sorry:

JPMorgan Chase & Co. announced new programs aimed at military customers and veterans on Tuesday. and apologized for overwhelming thousands of active mortgage service members and unjustly expelling more than a dozen. … "We apologize to our military customers and their families for these mistakes."

As for their non-military customers, bank officials say they can still fool themselves.

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And another one…

CHEERS on US mint-y freshness. Unfortunately, the state district collections – both the original series started in 1999 and the America the Beautiful collection in honor of our national parks – have run their course. The last in the series to run the Alabama district of the Tuskegee Airmenwas released last month. But that doesn't mean we have to stop checking out the newcomers from the coin. The latest is literally one of a kind. Last week Congress unanimously approved the gold medal of Congress for Capitol Police Officer Eugene Goodman, who …

"… to risk one's own life and successfully single-handedly lead insurgents off the floor of the Senate Chamber.

The Huffington Post reporter Igor Bobic took pictures of police officer Eugene Goodman distracting an angry mob threatening senators.Officer Goodman lures the Republican insurgents away from the Senate Chamber entrance.

Officer Eugene Goodman did his duty to protect Congress with honors, and through his actions Officer Goodman made an indelible mark on American history. "

Since 1776 when George Washington got the first, the medal has served as "The highest expression of the national appreciation of Congress for excellence and contributions from individuals or institutions. "And unlike other medals and coins made by the US Mint, each CGM is unique to that person or organization. Here's how the ALS awareness advocate medal was made for former NFL players Steve Gleason::

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Best of all, winning your own official gold medal for Congress, besides knowing that your country is grateful for your contribution to society? Unlimited crank turns in the rotunda at the official chewing gum machine for the Congress Gold Medal.

Have a nice day. The ground is open … What are you cheering and mocking about today?

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Today's shameless C&J testimonial

"If you want to completely immerse yourself in a futuristic, apocalyptic, dirty world, sit back and enjoy the Cheers and Jeers full of Bill kids pool Portland MaineSweet corn. Expect something that isn't so empty that its escape becomes boring and you will be disappointed. "

– Roger Moore

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