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Cheers and mock: Wednesday

Cheers and ridicule for Wednesday October 28, 2020

Note: Poll! Nothing else matters now. Not your spouse, your children, your job, or even your horse. What reminds me: go behind the garage. You are now the proud owner of a horse.

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By the numbers:

DaylioghtSavingTimeends.jpg … in 4 days !!!

Days until we turn back our clocks by an hour: 4th

Estimated Number of Americans Who Had Voted By Election Day, According to NBC News: 100 million

Biden-Trump matchup numbers in North Carolina, according to CBS News poll: 51% -47%

Number of 30 Public and private statewide polls in North Carolina that Public Policy Polling conducted earlier this year and that Trump resulted in: 0

Sen. Gary Peters (D) -John James (R) matchup numbers in Michigan, per PPP survey: 52% -43%

Number of evictions by tenants in 23 counties in Arizona, Florida, Georgia, Tennessee, and Texas between early September and mid-October: 10,000

Year up to that ChinaThe economy is expected to exceed that at the latest United States Economy: 2030

World Series Update

Dodgers defeat the rays 4th Games too 2.

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middle of the week Rapture index:: 181 (including 5 plagues and All witches and satanists who want to devastate Christians this Halloween). The Soul Protection Factor 8 Lotion is recommended if you are going for a walk among pagans today.

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Puppy picture of the day: Fast-register him with the patriots …

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CHEERS through day 1. Trump cultist Amy Coney Barrett is now the Associate Supreme Court Justice of the United Statesafter taking the oath yesterday morning. And, girrrrl, did she get to work quickly? Over the course of eight hours …

Drowned her first kitten … kicked her first employee with the shoe that had the hidden, spring-loaded spike in it … poured hot coffee over Stephen Breyer's head and insisted that one day they'd both be laughing about it … not biting the head off of one , but two bats because "this cockadoodie job really makes me hungry" … Stare Decision declared it "too strange-sounding" and excluded it from any further discussion … banned voting in the blue states … tells the story how there were two groups of bats footprints in the sand but then there was only one set of footprints because then they carried Jesus because Antifa had just shot an arrow to calm his neck … called her hairdresser to tell him that she couldn't wait to annul his marriage to his husband and that he could get her ready for a sleek and bright color treatment on Friday morning … replaced the insulin from Jus tice Sotomayor by Folger & # 39; s Crystals …

… and then she got home in time to make Hubbie a cocktail and light his pipe before cooking dinner and putting the kids to bed after reading them a chapter from Dante's Inferno. How does she do it ???

CHEERS and JEERS to dollars and cents sense and nonsense. As the week draws to its inevitable end, let's look at some recent economic headlines we picked from the money tree to see if we should move our money from the secret hole in our backyard to the secret hole in our attic. Warning: whiplash ahead …

Workers are laid off twice as Covid pervades the economy

Amazon hires 100,000 seasonal employees

Eli Lilly antibody drug fails in Covid-19 study; others go on

The pandemic disproportionately affects women at work

HarrietTubma20bill.jpg And in 2021: President Biden's Treasury Secretary will release the new Tubman 20.

Silver lining of the recession: American households are doing better than expected

Millions are ready to lose unemployment benefits in a "huge cliff" at the end of the year

US. Durable goods orders up 1.9%

Consumer confidence is falling

Cartel fees could be levied against Facebook as early as November

Dow falls for day two as daily virus cases hit a new record

As stocks rise, most blacks are missing out

Jay-Z launches its own line of cannabis

And only in: Dunkin & # 39; Donuts is in talks to be swallowed by Arby & # 39; s. And you know what that means, right? Our lifelong dream of glazed cheddar munchkins is just a signature away.

CHEERS most trusted name on the news (alongside Cronkite and Maddow). 109 years ago this week, Joseph Pulitzer died at the age of 64 aboard his yacht in Charleston, South Carolina, ending the life of the "yellow journalism" publisher dedicated to finding the little guy (albeit loud and sensational):

The press used to normally speak for the money interests, but this new type of journalism supported the work, attacked trusts and monopolies, and exposed public and private scandals, fraud and corruption.

trumpdoggydoobag.jpg Seems like a good design for my pool seat price.

At a time when journalism was not viewed as a reputable way to make a living, Pulitzer was eager to raise the standards of the profession.

Today the best and brightest in journalism are celebrated with the coveted "Pulitzer", which comes in a beautiful velvet display case. And when I leave this earth, I plan to leave behind a foundation that recognizes the most moronic and dishonest. I call it the "Poolitzer" and it comes in a nice dog bag. The Poolitzer opening ceremony will make history. It will be the first time the world hears the words "And the winner is: Fox News".

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CHEERS to H2Omigod !!! A cool announcement from the lab coat nerds who spend their time looking there. Cool and pure and refreshing:

It would be much more manageable if there were significant amounts of water on the more temperate parts of the moon: on the near and far sides, where each point is brilliantly lit for two full weeks per month.

watercrateronthemoon2020.jpg The children's pool of the moon. I call dibs.

Good news: NASA announced that it has discovered water in such a place: at Clavius ​​Crater, which is between 50 and 75 degrees latitude in the southern lunar hemisphere on the near side of the moon.

"Water is extremely important to space exploration," said Jacob Bleacher, NASA's chief scientist for human exploration and operation, at a press conference Monday. "We know it is found in some of the darkest and coldest craters, so for future exploration, finding it in places that are easier to get to will be very helpful."

Scientists greeted the news with "Wow!" The presidents of the major mineral water companies greeted the news with "Mine! Mine!"

Harvard Law, class of 1991.

CHEERS to the alma mater of our wonderful overlords. On that day in 1636, Harvard University– whose foundation is now worth only $ 41 billion – was founded in Cambridge, Massachusetts "by vote of the Great and General Court of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, and was named after its first benefactor, John Harvard von Charlestown"Very good Presidents Franklin Roosevelt and Barack Obama went to Harvard. So did the very bad Presidents John Adams and George W. Bush. Very good Senator Elizabeth Warren went to Harvard. So did the very bad Senator Ted Cruz. Very good = Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Very bad = Justice Antonin Scalia. Good = Attorney General Loretta Lynch. Bad = Attorney General Alberto Gonzales. And and so on. So a mixed plate. More studies are needed.

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Ten years ago in C&J: October 28, 2010

CHEERS the driving experience of the future. Fuck the skeptics – I think electric cars will turn out to be amazing machines that people will love to drive and save a lot of money. The Chevy Volt, for example – in December – is like the Tandy 1000 of electric cars, and United States of America today Car critic is fucking impressed because it…

… is an amazing amount of engineering to make sure you never notice this sophistication. With the exception of the Gee Whiz instrument panel, you could imagine sitting in a regular car. And that's mind-blowing because Volt combines an electric motor, a generator that sometimes works itself as a motor, and a small gasoline engine to create a powertrain that doesn't use gas for 25 to 50 miles, and then sips on it. (…)

Most of the time you only run on battery power. Sometimes you burn gas to let the juice flow. No place to recharge to recharge? No problem. Fill the gas tank and continue driving. How exactly is that anything but awesome?

And don't let the $ 41,000 price tag scare you. For one thing, there is a government discount. On the other hand, the Volt is the first vehicle to have its own defibrillator paddle.

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And another one…

CHEERS to Ghosts of Halloween's past. It's the season …

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Have a terroriffic Wednesday. With Whatsizname in the White House, that shouldn't be difficult. The trapdoor is open … what are you cheering and mocking about today?

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Today's shameless C&J testimonial

"As far as I'm concerned, Bill in Portland Maine is an absolute joke. A man who once was America& # 39; s Kiddie Pool Viceroy is now the mockery of not just the country but the world. "

– Michael Cohen

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